My Ayla Kristeen

Two weeks ago, right now, I was sitting in a labor and delivery prep room with my husband. I was only freaking out slightly at this point. My blood pressure had finally dropped back down. My contractions were coming every few minutes and getting more and more painful, but that was the last thing on my mind. All I could think about was that my Ayla was coming...and soon!! 

Our birth story starts a few days earlier in my opinion - on Sunday night. After getting Hunter to bed, like our normal routine, Chase and I went into our room and sat down and just chatted about whatever was on our mind. That night, Chase was telling me about his upcoming week at work - how crazy it was going to be trying to get a everything he needed to get done by the end of month wrapped up so that he could spend time with me and Ayla after she was born. Although I had been desperate for her to have an early arrival due to how sick I had been, and how much pain I was in - I decided then that I could make it 7 more days. It was only 7 days. I had made it so far - 7 days seemed like nothing. I was just going to try and enjoy my last week ever of being pregnant. I'm pretty sure Ayla heard us talking.

On Monday around noon, I started having regular, painful contractions. They were 10-15 minutes apart, and gradually moved into my back. I was in quite a bit of pain for the rest of the day - nothing would make the contractions go away, but, they never got any closer together. I finally went to bed around 10PM. The next few hours, I was constantly getting up to go to the bathroom. I just kept feeling like I was "leaking" - but only a tiny bit. Around 3AM, I woke up and had bad cramping. It was consistent though and wouldn't go away. I got up and hung out on the computer for awhile. At one point during the early morning hours, I felt like I all of a sudden was "leaking" A LOT. So I got up and ran to the bathroom - a gush of fluid came out - but quite honestly, I had no idea if my water had broken, or if I was just peeing and no longer had any control over my bladder. I was totally confused! The cramping was still consistent - just a constant, dull, pain. No time-able contractions to be found. 

I had a doctor appointment that morning at 9:30, so I decided just to wait until then and get checked out. Our morning continued as normal - getting Hunter up and ready for school. There was a snow storm the night before, so we had a few inches of snow to deal with as well. Lots of fun clearing off your car while you are in labor ;) - I was really missing a garage that morning! Or at least the covered parking spot I always leave for Chase. 

I got into the doctor about 20 minutes early - I had given myself plenty of time to get there with the snow. I told my nurse right when I got in that I thought my water might have broken, but I wasn't sure, and she took me back right away to get checked. My doctor came in immediately. I started to wonder why I didn't tell them my water had broken every week - the lack of waiting was super nice!! My doctor did an quick test to test the PH levels right in the exam room - he told me it was negative - but he was going to go look at it under the microscope to make sure. I started to calm down slightly as I was pretty worked up before that. I thought to myself "oh okay, good. We still have a week. We're good." My doctor left to go do his testing. I sat, texting Chase updates and waiting for him to come back to do our "normal" appointment routine. 

A few minutes later, I heard my doctor start to talk to his scheduling lady. I wondered to myself why he was talking to her. I couldn't really make out what he was saying, so I just sat there with my ear glued to the door - finally I heard him say "Holly Anderson" and I FREAKED out. My heart rate sky rocketed. All of a sudden, I was no where near ready to have a baby. He came back in to tell me and then quickly left to keep trying to schedule my CSection. My nurse came back in and took my blood pressure again seeing how I was freaking out. She tried to get me to relax. Ha. Good luck with that. I kept texting Chase. 

They decided on a 12:30 CSection since I had been smart enough to not eat or drink anything that morning. It was 9:30. 3 hours. Holy crap. 3 hours. My nurse walked me over to labor and delivery and turned me over to the nurses. I was still freaking out. They took me into a prep room to wait. I was still freaking out. I called my parents and arranged things so they could go pick up Hunter from school. I called Chase's Mom. And then I kept freaking out. 

Chase arrived really quickly, and just having him there calmed me immensly. I was able to relax a bit and finally got my blood pressure down :). The next couple of hours were mixed with answering texts and phone calls, answering questions from the nurses and doctors, getting prepped and having the vein in my hand blown out and waiting. Oh - and watching Chase eat in front of me. Twice. Thanks babe. 

 12:30 rolled around pretty quick, and I started freaking out again. :). They came and got me and rolled me to the OR. At some point, we dropped Chase off to wait until I was prepped in the OR. Watching him walk away immediately caused me to panic again. I knew legally he couldn't stay with me, but I would have paid any amount of money at that point if they had let him...I was a basket case without him. They got me in the OR, did the spinal and quickly got to work on getting everything going. My anaesthesiologist continually asked me if I was doing okay. I continually told him "yea, I'm just freaking out. I need my husband."  I was biting the inside of my lip like crazy - it took a full week to heal that wound. I went from being incredibly nervous, panicky, and anxious to a total calm state. Ahhh - thank goodness for whatever drug the good doctor put into my IV to get me to stop gnawing off the inside of my lips. FINALLY, Chase arrived. I didn't even really care about anything after that point. 

The surgery seemed quick and easy. It is pretty crazy to be awake, and feel that they are cutting, digging, and pushing around your insides, but not have any pain from it whatsoever. The lights above me were reflective and if I looked up, I could see exactly what was going on - although I tried to advert my eyes for the most part. Eventually they announced that they were about ready to pull her out and out came Chase's cell phone (ugghhhh...) and I looked back into the lights to see if I could see her. And then there she was. She didn't cry right away and I remember asking over and over again "Why isn't she crying? Why isn't she crying?" but no one was listening to me...and then she screamed and it was all good! A nurse brought Ayla over to see me and she was so completely gorgeous - amazing how it's so easy for Mom's to look right past all the blood and goo and just see a perfect baby. She was crazy beautiful! They took her off to get her wrapped up and Chase followed, but they brought her back to me all bundled up really quickly and I was able to hold her. I know I kept thinking I was going to drop her because my arms seemed so awkward, but, she fit in them perfectly. They let me hold and stare at her for a few tear filled minutes. I had waited SO long for her - it was amazing having her in my arms. Everything felt right with the world right then. 

The nurse came back to take her after a little bit to clean her up, and Chase left with them. But I finally was content with him going and stayed calm. 

It seemed to take them forever to get my tubes tied - my doctor told me when he had each side done and then I would ask "Are you sure you did it right?!?" He must have thought I was hilarious. My anaesthesiologist started telling a story about a time when his son got hurt and there was blood all over the house, which prompted me to tell them the story of Miley's happy tail and my recent experience of coming home to a house looking like a murder scene. What an odd thing to discuss while you are being operated on...

Eventually, everything was finished and they wheeled me into a recovery room where I waited for Chase and Ayla to come back. That part took forever - I now know Chase was busy showing her off to the world - but at the time, I wondered what was going on, what was taking so long, was she okay? Finally they came to see me and we were able to do skin on skin and try our first attempt at feeding. 

After another hour or so, they wheeled me off to my room where my parents and Hunter were waiting. Hunter got to hold Ayla right away - watching him with his new little sister - totally in awe of her - just melted my heart. All of a sudden - our family of four was complete and everything was perfect in my world.